Group Guide

Proverbs 31 is the advice given to a king by his mother about what it takes to be a godly woman. The tension is that while some have made these verses too practical, as if it is some sort of checklist, others have over-spiritualized it. We will see elements of both, but ultimately this chapter points us to Christ. In verses 10-21 she is describing how a godly woman looks after everyone, puts their needs before her own, and gives to the poor. In verse 22 it says she dresses in fine linen and purple gowns, showing how important it is for women, especially mothers, to take care of themselves as well. In light of Mother's Day, how have you seen YOUR mother (or wife) put the needs of her family selflessly before her own? How have you seen, in your own life, the importance of making sure you find the time and energy to take care of yourself?

Verse 26 says her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness. "Instructions" is referring to the Law of God. Her wisdom comes from the Word, and she is faithful to share that wisdom with her kids, husband and friends. The law, and wisdom coming from the Word, are daily overflowing out of her life. Ultimately she is leading people in her life to Christ. Has there been a wise woman in your life that has shown you a picture of Jesus through her words and actions? Are you doing that for others (guys included)?

In verse 30, we finally see how this standard of womanhood is possible... she fears the Lord. The fear of God shapes who she is. It is the wellspring that feeds every part of her. There is no fear of the future. She's not afraid, anxious or insecure... because she fears the Lord. She is a woman of character, hard working, generous, wise, elegant, and is a blessing to her kids, husband and community...because she fears the Lord. This is why she is praise-worthy! Not because of WHAT she does, but because of WHO she fears. It's the same in our lives. It's not about all the stuff you do, it's about who your heart bows to. Can you honestly say your lifestyle, behaviors and choices show the world that your heart belong to Jesus? Would people know you are a Christian solely based on the fruit of your life?

It is important that we serve and follow Jesus, not just because we want to be the best versions of ourselves, but because God deserves our very best. And we desperately need Him with us each day because we are in a constant battle. We face an enemy that wants to take us out, our spouses out, our kids out. One author wrote, "In their care for their households, wise women are on the frontlines of God's holy war." How often do you think about this hidden reality in your life? How often are you praying for your family and kids?

Many scholars have pointed out that this passage talks about different seasons of this woman's life, not necessarily her daily routine. Others have pointed out that all these things point to a certain spirit and overflow of a woman who fears the Lord. But ultimately, it feels like a pretty impossible standard. It's much like God's Law, which scripture says shows us how sinful we are. It's an impossible standard to keep! So if you ask the question, "Can I live up to this standard?", the answer is, "NO!" That's why we need Jesus. That's why Christ is our hope. What we can't do on our own, He has already accomplished. And He is strong in our weaknesses. Let's spend some time this week praying that we wouldn't place too much emphasis on our behaviors and striving to be the perfect Christian, but rest in the fact that Jesus is our only hope.