Group Guide
This Week's City 7:
5. Why do I follow Jesus? I follow Jesus because Jesus rose from the dead proving that He is the way, the truth and the life.
(Matthew 7:24-27; John 14:6)
(Matthew 7:24-27; John 14:6)
Ice-Breaker:
Have you ever made a fool out of yourself for love? What's the grandest gesture you've ever done to prove your love to someone?
Discussion Questions:
- The vow for this week was this... "I promise to always pursue my TWO." If you remember from last week, God is our ONE and our spouse is our TWO. When we want something, we pursue it. In fact, by nature, we pursue what we don't have. Think about your yard. Can you be lazy about your yard, not water it, not fertilize it, and see your yard get green and pretty? No! The weeds will grow. If you want green grass, you have to work to maintain it. The same is true in marriage... it doesn't happen on its own. Clayton said on Sunday that if the grass looks greener somewhere else, it's time to water your own yard. How much thought do you give to maintaining your relationship with your spouse? How often are you consciously working at improving your relationship? Singles, this could apply to any relationship in your life.
- We all tend to believe this myth: PROMISES and POTENTIAL are a substitute for PREPARATION. False. Single and dating folks... When you fall in love, you'll believe anything. You think that someday, when you find that special someone and get married, THEN you'll get a job, stop drinking, get out of debt, deal with your porn addiction, get more involved in church, etc. You'll promise yourself and the other person all kinds of things. The problem is, we can't promise our way past our lack of preparation. When looking for someone to date or marry, we should look for PURSUIT and PREPARATION, not PROMISES and POTENTIAL. Singles, what does this look like in your day to day lives? How do you make sure YOU'RE pursuing the right things and preparing in the right ways? Married folks, was there a time in your life, maybe even before your spouse, that you fell for the fallacy of believing promises and putting your hopes in their potential?
- If we want to have a flourishing relationship, especially in marriage, we have to learn to close gap between INTENTIONS and ACTIONS. We all have the best intentions, but intentions mean absolutely nothing. A great, practical tip that Clayton gave us on Sunday is that when you think something good, SAY IT. There are plenty of times we think something nice about our spouse, but we fail to say it. Or we think about doing something nice for them but never follow through. For husbands, we must pursue our wives with words of AFFECTION (non-sexual). Tell them you love them because of their love for God, because they're so much fun, because they're so self-sacrificing. Tell them they're your best friend, that you appreciate and respect the way they sacrifice to serve your family. For wives, we must pursue our husbands with words of AFFIRMATION. Don't tell him what he's not, tell him who you see he is becoming. Tell him you appreciate how hard he works, ask him for his advice when you are struggling with something, look for opportunities to praise him. Men - she wants to know, "Do you love me today?" Ladies - he wants to know, "Do you believe in me today?" Spend some time talking about how you can grow in these areas, and share with the group ways you've seen your spouse do well.
- The bottom line is this... When you want something different, BE IT. We all tend to think, "If only she would..." "If only my husband were..." We have to stop pointing our finger at the other person. Instead of griping about what your spouse ISN'T, use your energy to become who God wants you to become. What could happen in your relationships if BOTH parties would think and behave in this way? Where is it that YOU need to step in your relationship?
- Clayton ended on Sunday telling us that if you don't like what you're GETTING, look at what you're GIVING. We probably all tended to try harder in the beginning of our relationships, working to win them over. Then we got lazier and took more for granted over time. To get what you once had, you must do what you once did. You had it before, you can get it again. What next step do you and your spouse need to take? Maybe have a date night and discuss the things we've talked about, affirming each other towards growth? Maybe it's time to take the step of making and appointment with a Christian counselor to help you walk through these difficult things? What is it for you?
Prayer Topics:
- That we would work for better marriages.
- That we would prepare instead of making promises.
- That we would become who God wants US to be.
- That we would build our spouses up.
2 Comments
Hallelujah Praise You Jesus!
Thank you father God for providing community to me in your holy name. Amen. Good group tonight. Thank you small group.